So my headphones finally decided to show up
I was dissatisfied because I paid for two day shipping and they took just under a week to get here so at first I was like But then the music started playing and I was like
deozzyribonucleicacid: “WHAT? WHAT’RE THEY SELLING?” “CHOCOLATES!” “WHAT?” “CHOOOOCOLATES!” “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” “THEY’RE SELLING CHOCOLATES!” “Chocolates…” “I remember when they first invented chocolate…” “Sweet…” “Sweet…” “Chocolate…” “I ALWAYS HATED IT.”
The entire synopsis of Breaking Dawn Pt 1...
everything is so awkward and forced
they are taking turns eyeing the bed
they are going skinny dipping
I think the presex montage just happened
she like...shaved her legs and shit
who doesn't do that before they leave for their honeymoon?!
we are halfway through this film and NOTHING HAS HAPPENED
they got married and had sex
literally not a thing else
they're now playing chess
she keeps trying to seduce him and he's laughing at her WORST MARRIAGE
oooh playing chess again!
they just had a montage of their honeymoon and all that happened is thye played a lot of chess, she tried to fuck him and he ran away
oh god she's begging now
this is honestly awkward softcore porn
and now she's vomiting into the toilet
nothing happens in this god
it's just a bunch of shitty subplots
the wolves are so shit
THIS IS SO BAD
weird ass telepathic wolf pow wow shit
I don't even know what's going on
THE FETUS ISN'T COMPATIBLE
I'm really glad that in Twilight world, they make skinny jeans that fit over evil fetus baby bumps
oh god Bella's drinking blood
I'm taking a shot
the cup says FREE REFILLS ON IT
Bella just chose "renesmee" for the baby's name and this child will be beat up for the rest of it's life
OH MY GOD SHE IS GIVING BIRTH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
"GET HIM OUT OF ME"
loads of screaming and flashing and she looks like a skeleton
aaaand Edward ripped open her stomach with his mouth
the baby is a bloody mess and they just called it beautiful. I mean, I don't really do babies, but like...I'm pretty sure that just looks like meat
there is just blood everywhere and edward just stabbed her in the heart with his venom and what the HELL
Bella seems to have died, but Edward is just biting her everywhere and OH HOLY GOD IT'S SCIENCE
HER BLOOD IS FREEZING
the worst thing? Kristen Stewart's face hasn't changed.
she just gave birth and then died
without a flicker of emotion
Jacob has just seen the baby and he's in lo0o0o0ove
this is the creepiest scene ever
he just fell to his knees in front of a baby
I just want to be a fly on the wall during this filming
uh oh vampire v wolf death match
oh jk rules and shit
wolf can't harm future lovers of other wolves
so much for bros before hoes, shit
meanwhile, Bella is serving her purpose well. laying on a table with the occasional SCIENCE into her body
she's becoming a vampire, which apparently includes permanent eyeshadow. so, that makes life easier.
you know how on tumblr, they have those picture sequences where it slowly gets closer to someones face?
that was just an actual shot in Breaking Dawn
jacob, Jacob, JACOB
AND THEN HAWT VAMPY BELLA OPENED HER EYES WITH MIRACULOUSLY NEWLY LONG EYELASHES AND THE FILM ENDED
I require the last two hours of my life back
who do I go for for that
mystikdragon said: no no shhh it’s okay you’re...
mystikdragon: ohyousillypotato: Nope You’re the only ones I have no idea what you just said I am angered by my lack of understanding I will now throw rocks at your face and then I will burn you at the stake Yep. That’s how life works. WELP fuck thanks friends now I’m being burned at the stake for this you’ve taught me all wrong I lied emily you’re not kawaii as fuck you are mean...
thedukeoflions replied to your post:...
oh my sweet lord that was amazing
there are a lot of people talking about smang on...
i don’t know what’s going on i’m scared why is this happening what are you guys talking about
mystikdragon said: no no shhh it’s okay you’re...
Nope You’re the only ones I have no idea what you just said I am angered by my lack of understanding I will now throw rocks at your face and then I will burn you at the stake Yep. That’s how life works.
zeroforthree said: do you love me enough to maybe...
FUCK YES THERE WILL BE EXPLOSIONS AND NARWHALS AND GLOW STICKS AND JET PLANES AND TOM FELTON NAKED RIDING A UNICORN oh and bowling things too
zeroforthree said: it only loads half the...
THERE IS TOO MUCH LOVE FOR IT TO HANDLE TOO MUCH LOVE OH MY GOD DROWNING IN THE LOVE IT BUURNNSSSSS
i'm sorry for posting so many pictures of myself...
i’ll stop now okay alright cool yep bye
zeroforthree said: you are such a cool person. I’m...
I DON’T THINK YOU FULLY GRASP HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU YOU KNOW HOW MUCH? You better appreciate this picture because that fucker was really heavy
"The Rise and Decline of the Political Party"...
Planking wins every time In other news I ordered new headphones online and they were like “hey bro here’s a UPS tracking number that you can totally track your jawn with since it’s been shipped” and I was like “hot diggity damn thanks ma brotha” but the code they gave me doesn’t work I think either there was a typo in the email or my package is...
delicateschism: epicwinsauce: pizzarash: 45 Seconds of me you will never get back. Watch me battle my EVIL TWIN!!!! I don’t even want those 45 seconds back ELLE WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN HOW WHAT IM NOT THIS DRUNK SERIOUS. OMFG DID YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU TONS
Anonym fragte: Not only do I love your blog ( heh found it ) but I also am secretly infatuated with you. K. here we go I got this idea from a spam msg I received on Facebook lol.. I know you like me but were always way too shy to say so :3 go hit up crushmasher(dót)com (uhh it wont let me do a regular link) then make an acct there. Search for the profile 'justmeandu33' ( obv me ) I posted body...
Nah. Teach myself “Campfire Song Song” on ukulele? Yeah. I REGRET NOTHING
avediabolus: frank0cean: me and my grandma dancing to yonkers oh my fucking god the grandma
harrytomlomsom: earwire: ohhitherestranger: toomuchparanoia: nerdyflutist: thedukeoflions: madijayhasnolife: oh my all these people i know are just folllowing eachother and being friends and i love it and i feel wonderful and hug me all of you HUG CHAIN AHOOOYYY would anyone mind if I hopped on this hug train even though I dont know any of you?